Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
