I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
that is very illegal...i love you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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