i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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