That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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