I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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