Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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