Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
