Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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