epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
