I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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