sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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