dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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