Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
