Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize