So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
