Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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