32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
