lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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