Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
