You're earring is so big in my mouth
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
