i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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