I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
