we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
