What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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