Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
