Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
