Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
