do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
