I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
