How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
