No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
