Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
