I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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