If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
