it wasn't lemon gatorade
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
