Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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