I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
