and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
