I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
