shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize