Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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