i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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