When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
