He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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