It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
