it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
