Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So squirting runs in the family.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
