He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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