Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
