Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
