my sisters under your porch take her home
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
