wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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