You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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