is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't notice because vodka
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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