maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
