i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
