sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
