I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
