I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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