I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
accomplished twins. life is a go
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
