I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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