My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize